Bullying isn't just in the School Yard!

It has been a difficult couple of days for my family, so I thought this might be a good place to simply blow off some steam.

My family and I own a couple of small businesses in a small town in BC, Canada. We love the town and most of the people here are wonderful. However, there is a growing under-current of people moving in who don't care much for community or respect of others, but simply care about themselves and their need for drugs, alcohol and quick cash.

Sometime early Monday morning our Main store was broken into. The thieves smashed both our front doors, destroying the locking mechanism on the one and causing very expensive repairs to both. They stole a few munchies, a very small amount of cash and left out the back door leaving it wide open. The temperature was between -12 & -14 C, which cooled our store down, over working the heaters, and costing a fortune in hydro which is already very expensive for the store, and two days later it still hasn't warmed up inside.

The hurt and the frustration it has caused my family has been severe, not to mention the extra expenses now added to our tightest months of the year. We've also seen an increase in shop lifting and heard several other local businesses complain about it as well.

My wife and I have always done our best to help those in need and to give whenever we can to make sure others don't go without, simply because we understand as we were there not too many years ago ourselves. I wish that these people who broke into our store were the kind that would simply ask for some money, because we would have gladly helped them out. Instead they smash our doors for a few dollars and munchies, costing us a fortune in repairs.

The toll this takes on us as a family is very great, because it makes us distrust many of the customers that come into our stores and wonder if they were the ones who robbed us, plus will they do it again. We also feel more distrustful towards anyone who even slightly looks like they might try to shop lift, because we don't want to lose anything more or be hurt again, and it even carriers over to people we know. We are constantly on guard, edgy and just worried as to what will happen next.

What makes it worse is since moving to this small community, this is the third time our store has been broken into, all for minor things. Yet, our previous town where we had the business for five years, we were never vandalized or robbed, not even once.

We know there are people who know who did this to us within our community, but no one wants to speak up or fight back because of fear that something might happen to them as well. So the vandalism, break-ins, shop-lifting's and worse will continue.

Today we celebrate Anti-bullying Day in Canada and I thought how ironic it is that we are teaching our kids to stand up against bullying, prejudices and those who make us live in fear, and these are the same feelings my family and I are experiencing after someone shop lifts from us and each time we are robbed like this.

Theft, shop-lifting, vandalism, break and entering are all forms of bullying because it leaves those who lose their stuff or pay for damages, feeling hurt, beaten down, betrayed and in fear. I think we need to also teach our children and others that these types of crimes are bullying as well and they also need to end.

More than half of the shop-lifting in our store is done by teens and children who feel they somehow deserve to get what they want, simply because they want it. Some even have the money to pay for it, but simply don't feel they have to or just steal things for sport, because they can. This attitude seems to be carrying forward into their adulthood where many of the adults who steal from us believe that they somehow deserve it because they don't have the money and we are obviously rich enough because we have a business, so why should it matter to us. I wonder how they would feel if I went to their house and took the same attitude and liberties with their stuff. But I guess that's the real difference now isn't it, I have too much respect for other people and their stuff than to steal from them, hurt them, make them live in fear or cause them that kind of pain.

Perhaps the answer to all this bullying within our society is to start teaching children at a young age how to respect others, their beliefs and their belongings; and by teaching our children what respect is and showing it to them as well, they may grow up showing and sharing that respect with all those around them. In addition, if we are actively involved with our children and hold them accountable, in appropriate ways, when the show disrespect, steal or bully others, instead of justifying their behavior or blaming other peoples children while turning a blind-eye towards our own, maybe they will learn that these behaviors are wrong and in-excusable.

These forms of teachings have worked with our two sons, and we have an entire community that feels the same way about them. I wonder how many other parents can confidently say the same things about their children, because the more who can means we have a greater hope for where our society is headed. Of course learning how to teach children to respect others also means we as adults have to set the proper example first and learn how to respect others too.

So with today being Anti-bullying day I encourage parents to spend time talking with their children about what true respect means. I encourage adults and children alike to consider how respectful their words and actions are towards others from all walks of life. And, maybe instead of living in fear of being bullied we can teach those who bully how to have respect for others and maybe even themselves.

After this last break-in to our store I know my family has had enough with being bullied in this town by those who show no respect for our property or what we have done in this community. Our hope is that something will change here soon and people will stand up against the bullying and crime increasing in our town, but the other option open to us to stop from being bullied anymore and to protect our family, is to leave to somewhere else where we can feel safe once more.

Just another thought I had.

What if Jesus was in charge of our Churches?

Yesterday was Sunday, and I decided to go to church with my oldest son as my family hadn't been for several weeks. I had felt a strong pull on my heart that I needed to go and see if anything had changed since the last time my family went. I was also wishing for some encouraging words, music and fellowship, just to lift my spirit a bit.

Throughout the service, not much was different than every other time we had gone. The Pastor's message was the only part that brought some variation and thought, but it didn't seem like the few people attending took to heart what he was trying to say. It was just another message and the music was just another hymn.

We had some discussion after the service, which always ends right on time, and I had asked where they saw the churches direction going. The answer was not surprising but still disheartening. They simply have too few people to do much and those that are left feel they are too old to do what they know needs to be done. They are happy to support and pray for whatever I would like to do, but as for them, they just want to enjoy their service.

How can I respond? These are God loving people, who have a strong foundation and faith in Him. There is no doubt about their love for others and desire to serve God, it's just that they've lost their youthful passion that God can still work great things if they are willing. All they see is that they are a handful of older people who have too little energy left to do the greater tasks needed in our town. If they could only see how useful and valuable they are through my eyes, then they would understand how much our town needs them to be a lighthouse for all to see.

We have several churches in our small community, all the standard different denominations, and they all claim to have the true foundations and beliefs in God. However, as much as they state they are different in certain beliefs, they are very much the same in how they conduct their services and expect church to be. It really wouldn't have mattered what church my son and I went to yesterday, as the format, music and people are all much the same. The unfortunate part is if you don't fit with the traditional style church and know the proper way to behave, then there really isn't an option for you in our community for a church.

Don't get me wrong, for most of who attend our local churches, the style, music and format works just fine. So I have done my best not to rock the boat too much when I worked in one and helped run events with several others. The problem is I also own a business within the community where I hear comments from people regularly wishing there was a more up-beat contemporary church.

Many people in our community have attended one of the churches at one point or another, and have left because they found little acceptance, encouragement or inspiration from their experience. Others were pushed out because they dared to try and change how the churches did things in order to bring outsiders into the church.

Throughout my years of working within churches, I have seen remarkable times of growth whenever those in charge decide to break the molds they've cast and bring the church back to the essential basics of grace, forgiveness and freedom. As they broke their molds, people came and felt included and inspired. However, each time as the church grew, those in charge would decide to pull back the freedoms and plug the newcomers back into the old molds, so church could be the way those in charge believe it should be. The result is most of the newcomers would leave feeling hurt, deceived and disillusioned, and those in charge would be looking for someone to blame.

I wish I could write a column in the paper that reviewed churches like those who review the latest movies or restaurants. It would certainly give an interesting perspective for those within the church as to how others viewed them.

What I find the most interesting is that the bible teaches repeatedly, that the church is the body of Christ and those who believe are part of that body, plain and simple. It doesn't say we are part of one building with people in it, or one set traditional system of beliefs, just that those who believe in the Christ are part of His body, or church. So what should the church be like?

Paul teaches in Colossians 3:12-17

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

So I guess if a group of people gather together and focus on these virtues, it shouldn't really matter whether it's in a formal building, a house, out in a field or maybe at a Tim Horton's; what matters is how we fellowship with one another and if our focus is one of thankfulness towards God or simply a desire for what we want.

For me and my family, I dream of a church in our small town that would simply live what Paul is speaking about. I dream for a church where it doesn't matter whether you're rich or poorer; a sinner or a saint; prim & proper or a little wild; old fashioned or more modern; but, simply a church where all are welcome and we can spend more time singing a variety of songs both to praise God and to refresh our souls. A place where we can spend more time talking with one another to hear about what God is teaching each of us. A place where miracles can be shared by someone who is excited to share them.

Could you imagine a person jumping up in the middle of the Pastors message to say, "Can I tell you an awesome story about what God has done for me?" and then everyone eagerly wants to listen, instead of being upset because they dared to interrupt the Pastor and make the service run late.

The bible shares about the early church that was much like the one I dream of, but I question whether it's even possible to get back to it once more. I know of others, including myself who have tried and instead we find ourselves on the outside wishing for something more. We do our best to hold on to the hurt and cast-outs. We do our best to share the love of God with anyone willing to listen. We do our best to teach the way Jesus did. But imagine how wonderful it all could be if those few people inside the church, longing for others to join them, would realize all they need to do is let Jesus take charge of the church again and allow His grace, forgiveness and freedom to be our focus once more.

Just simply another thought I had.

A Little Bit About Me

Have you ever had a thought you wish you could share but question whether anyone would be interested in hearing it? Or perhaps wish you could share your whole thought, not just the parts that seem acceptable and interesting to those you hope will listen?

I know I often feel this way, so I've decided to create this blog to simply share my thoughts.

I guess a brief introduction of who I am and what I believe would be a great place to start.

My name is Daniel and I have a wonderful wife, two awesome sons, a bratty cat and an adorable puppy. I own a couple of businesses in the small town where I live. I lead a non-denominational Christian youth group that promotes openness, questions and a deeper belief in God. I volunteer with many different groups within my community and am also an author of two books, The Gift & The Purpose, based on spiritual warfare.

I've suffered with many health issues throughout my life, including a heart attack a few years back, but have never let them hold me back from living life or accomplishing my dreams and the purposes God has planned for me. My life has been impacted by cancer both through the loss of loved ones and the childhood cancer my youngest son had of which he almost died from. However, we were blessed with an incredible miracle of God and he was completely healed, which is a story I will definitely share in another blog later on.

I'm a strong believer in God and the saving grace of Jesus, but have often found myself on the outside when it comes to church and the rules of religion. My entire life has been one of trials and triumphs bringing me to a deeper understanding of who God is and the type of relationship He desires to have with us, not one bound by laws, but formed through Love.

I've developed my own beliefs and opinions by spending much time studying both the bible and the history behind it, studying other religions, learning from many different people, questioning everything, as well as, communicating with God and His creation, including angels and demons.

I have worked as a youth pastor in several churches; led many adult, youth and children bible studies; helped with many weddings, baptisms and funerals; preached many times before congregations; and, spoken before large groups and camps. However, throughout all these years I have been reluctant to share many of my deeper experiences and thoughts about God and the spiritual world because I am well aware of the judgments that follow whenever I or others have tried.

I believe in a spiritual world that exists alongside our own because throughout my life I have dealt with many spiritual beings and experienced a lot of supernatural events personally. Angels, demons and much more exist and regularly interact with us whether we realize it or not. I also believe there is a heaven and a hell, however, my understanding of what they are actually like often differs from many, again as a result of my own experiences with seeing them.

I don't believe in judging others based on their having a differing belief, religion, race, sexuality, financial position, or upbringing, than what I have. However, I do believe God created us all equal with the primary purpose of developing true and loving relationships that encourage and bring hope to each other, as well as, an honest understanding of who God is and the relationship He wants to have with us.

As I begin this journey of sharing my thoughts, beliefs and opinions, I simply ask that those who read them will keep an open mind to what is said and will consider that these are just my own thoughts, whether right or wrong, and I believe I have much more to learn and understand. If you wish to comments, please be respectful rather than judgmental, and I will in turn respect what you have to say as well.

Finally, I believe all people are entitled to their own thoughts opinions and understand that like myself, they have formed them through their own journey of life. And it is through this journey that we continue to questions and learn, developing new opinions and a greater understanding of why we exist in the first place.

I hope this shares a brief insight as to who I am and what I believe, which will offer a foundation for why I write what I do in the future.

I look forward to sharing this journey of my thoughts with those who are interested in hearing them. Thank you for taking the time to read them as well.